I went to fansign event after that. Despite of the cold weather, I insisted in waiting outside the venue to get the number. I waited for a while before went in. While we were waiting, we watched the clip which they (Homin) won the first place in Inkigayo. So everyone started to scream again.
I became nervous when I got inside. I checked whether everything was in place, and whether I looked haggard.
They appeared on time. We were very excited. After they sat down and talked for a while, the fansign event began..
I got number 30th, it was quite in front. It reached my turn shortly after that. I shuddered as I walked on stage...
I approached Changmin, he used his deer-like eyes to look at me and greeted: Hello
Me: (with a shaky voice...) Hello
CM: Name is 原冰玉 (My friend’s name, she didn’t get chosen for attending this fansign, so I asked Changmin to write her name)
Me: Yes, I am a Chinese cassie, I have been liking you for many years.
CM: Chinese cassie... it is difficult to get here.
Me: I come here because of oppas, because of Dong Bang Shin Ki.
CM: Thank you (looked at me with his innocent deer-like eyes)
Me: (my voice was still trembling) oppa please be happy
CM: I will. Thank you, Chinese cassie
Me: (Bowed to him, and felt like screaming while leaving...)
Needed to queue up at leader’s side. So, I was waiting there. Step by step, I was moving closer to Jung Yunho. My heart was going to leap out of my chest any time soon and I was out of breath. When the girl in front of me left, I approached him.
At first, I showed him my chinese name.
YH: Do you have korean name? They don’t let me sign this.
Me: Yes, I have. Oppa, this.
YH: (lifted his head to look at me, and laughed: 진가？ then lowered his head, and sniggered.)
I had already forseen this, since my Korean name is very strange. Even the teachers in my school think that my name is strange... I laughed too.
Me: Yes, this is my name.
YH: Alright. (and started to sign)
Me: The album that we, Chinese cassies gave you, have you listened to it?
YH: ‘Song for TVXQ’?
Me: (surprised and in awe) Yes
YH: ah (laughed and lifted his head to look at me) I listened to it when I got back home. Chinese cassies are really amazing. But chinese is too difficult, if not I want to sing along too
Me: Really oppa?
YH: Yes, I was listening to it with Changmin...
Me: (tears started to stream down, my head was getting lower and lower)
YH: (lifted his head after finished signing) Don’t cry. Lift your head up and look at me.
I lifted my head. Looking at his warm smiling face, and the slight stubble growing on his face, I couldn’t hold back my tears.
Me: I have been liking you for many years. Because of you, because of Dong Bang Shin Ki, I come to Korea. I’m now studying in your hometown Gwangju.
Then, he told me something that I will never forget for the rest of my life.
YH: I feel regret that I can’t sign your chinese name. But I can call your name in chinese. Then he called, ‘陈佳 陈佳’and repeated it once more in Korean.
Me: (choked with tears) Really, really thank you Oppa
YH: Thanks for making me part of your dream. Thank you Chinese cassie. We should meet again when I get back to Gwangju.
Me: Okay, thank you Oppa.
At this time, the security guard has started making me to leave. I was ready to go too, but felt reluctant to do so.
At this moment, Yunho says,
YH: Please wait for a while. Don’t you see she is still crying?
Then, he lifted his head and said to me, ‘Thank you for loving me...’
I went down the stage with my mouth covered by my hand. I was the only one who couldn’t stop crying in that venue. I hugged my sister and cried a river when I returned to my seat. She kept comforting me, but I just felt spaced-out. My eyes fixed on Homin on stage, and the tears rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably. The fansign event came to an end after half an hour. When Changmin was talking, Yunho kept looking down stage, as if he wanted to remember everyone’s face. Since my seat was more towards the front, he saw me crying. He smiled, and making hand gestures by pointing to his eyes while looking at me. I know he wanted to tell me to stop crying, but I just couldn’t suppress my tears... I felt so useless.
We left when the event had finished. Still lost for words, I met a friend outside the venue. She said she managed to stalk them, saw them reached and left by car. Jung Yunho even waved to her. I was overwhelmed with emotions when I heard this. So on the way back home, I kept telling her that, ‘He called me by my name... He called me by my name.... He called me by my name...’ over and over again.
I only reached Gwangju at dawn. However, the pain all over my body as if has now gone. I can’t fall asleep thinking of the touching words said by them. The signature with a cute little heart that I got from Yunho, I put it at my bedside. I don’t feel tired even if I staring at it repeatedly.
I have been loving you guys for many years. At this moment, I feel that to be able to fall in love with you, is the most fortunate thing that ever happened to me.
It is really worth for us to spend our lifetime loving you guys.
I am now still overwhelmed with excitement. I don’t know what to say.
I can only look at their signatures over and over again, and shed tears, again and again.